TRUST

Lord my only prayer right now is "TEACH ME HOW TO TRUST " , i was wondering why is it so hard for me to trust . Well for starters fear is the thing that grips me so much and basically paralyses my ability to trust . Todays society and world has become so much more demonic that now men are battling with their flesh in the world and even in the church . Women have turned so far from modesty , that these men are falling short and we know the Lord says in Matthew 5:28 "Anyone that looks over a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart ".

As a young woman striving towards perfection with hopes of being married soon , it scares me because i WANT  to be the only woman that my husband lusteth after or only has desires for or look upon , but out there in this world the men have to constantly fight with the help of the Holy Spirit not to lust .

I have so much more to write on this but all i can think is "Lord I am terribly scared please God teach me how to trust and in trusting teach me how to trust in you that I will always know that you will  take care of me ". I know that i will trust in you continually and i will trust in the man of god you have placed in my life :-) .... all fear is gone

MY YOKE IS EASY AND MY BURDEN IS LIGHT

"MY YOKE IS EASY AND MY BURDEN LIGHT" , I read this verse and I thought to myself Jesus if it is so light why am i facing all these problems , why is it so difficult , why am i feeling like I just cant go on ... am i a transgressor because PROVERBS 13:15  says " but the way of transgressors is hard" , but transgressors do not know Christ so that can't be it .

I did some reading and i realize this walk was so hard for numerous reasons . Firstly I made it hard , I made it hard when i refuse to surrender my all to God . There are times when i try to deal with everything on my own , where i try to rise above situations and circumstances without even consulting and giving all to my Heavenly Father and then you know what I fail miserably because my flesh can only do so much and there i am fighting when i am quenching my spirit man .

In 2 Corinthians chapter 4 verses 8 - 10 it says "We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, [so] that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body....". 

And then i realize i was being distressed, i was in despair, i was forsaking myself, i felt like i was being destroyed and that was because I did not surrender all to my God , i do not lay down my life so that God can  manifest His through me, no wonder i feel as though i am being consumed and then i ask God please help me i don't know what to do when the first thing I should do is "SURRENDER"   . And this is a harsh reality . 

Secondly the lack of self discipline is one of the causes to this walk being so hard and the meaning of self discipline is this "the training and controlling of ones self for personal improvement ". When situations arise and we decide not to die to self and do as Christ does it actually shows that we are not disciplined enough , so many times I am faced with a decision and do you know I choose my flesh and go on feelings , but this Spirit walk is not based on feelings but its based on the Word of God . I know sometimes it seems so easy to ride that wave of emotion and after we act outside the will of God and we choose emotions over truth , it results in shame and despair and regret.. Ahhhh I know about that but I have decided to ask the Lord to fill me with the  discipline to die to self and pick up my cross and count the cost . 

Thirdly FAITH  is a next reason so many of us lack faith or when we start off hot and sweaty with faith and then that suddenly dies and we become melancholy, desperate you name it . But faith is the substance of things hoped for , the evidence of things not seen. And if we cant have faith in what Gods word says means we are not having faith in God and we are calling him a liar . We cannot see the Lord but we have faith that he is who he says he is and we believe in his word . So we are actually making the Lord seem small when our faith fails. We are his children and we need to push past everything in our lives and hold on to the Lord knowing that he knows best and he will take care of us and bring us through , because we are precious to him . I mean he says in Matthew chapter 6 verses 26 "Behold the fowls of the air , for they sow not , neither so they reap , nor gather into barns , yet your Heavenly Father feedeth them . Are ye not much better than they?". Also look at verse 30 30 “If that is how God clothes the grass of the fields, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you , O you of little faith?”. So the Lord wants to know that we are walking in faith also one more stunning thing to me is that the Lord blessed Abraham for his faith J but that’s a next talk. Ah Lord makes me who you want me to be J

So no matter what is going on in our lives, how bad it may seem, the Lord has given us the firm authority to lay down our lives so that he can be made manifest in and through our lives, and this is where the kind of faith we have will play its part, faith to allow Jesus to carry our burdens and make our yokes light by trusting in him forever more. Thank you Jesus

Sometimes its so hard but Glory be to God

I have neglected to write and so much have been happening in these past few months that i did not even have the zeal to write. Firstly when i came to Christ i never thought this was where my problems will start but the scripture was right when it was said in 2 Timothy " Yea and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution" and also to quote 1 Peter chapter 1 :6,7 " Wherein ye greatly rejoice ,though, now for a season , if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations. That the trial of your faith , being much more precious than gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire ,might be found unto praise and honor and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ". And we know Jesus was not exempted from temptations because we know after he was baptized the spirit of the Lord sent him to the wilderness where he was tempted of the devil (Matthew chapter 4), and he overcame through prayer and faith in his Father , and likewise he has made provision for us to overcome as well.


Sometimes it seems as though God is so far from us when we are going through our wilderness experiences because we want help NOW  or we want God to work NOW or we want to cop out but this is what trial produces ... It produces FAITH, LONG-SUFFERING, FAITHFULNESS TO GOD , ENDURANCE, HUMBLENESS.  Trials makes you see how the flesh is so weak , how we sin and fall short , how much we second guess our Lord and we can't go on without him . We will die if we leaned onto our own understanding but sometimes it seems so hard to let God take care of things , because, the flesh in us wants to take care of things on our own in a way that is quicker and indeed selfish . At that point in time we are telling God " umm you are kinda moving to slow and i really need to fix this , so ill help you out ".


And that draws me to another point we are so selfish its always what "I" want , sometimes we are afraid to say "Lord if it is your will , because sometimes his will may not be what you want and so hope to cling unto " . Even within myself i am selfish , i am selfish to God i say "GIMME GIMME GIMME and i give him less than he deserves ,sometimes i don't even want to give him at all. I am selfish in my relationship with my sweetie pie Marc ,sometimes i think how i will benefit not even caring that the other person is not benefiting. 


It so hard when through trials and through this walk with God that he brings our faults to the surface, faults you didn't even know was there lurking behind the scenes , faults people might pick up on and judge you by, faults that separates.. Faults that bring you to your knees and you have nothing else to do but to cry out "LORD PLEASE CHANGE ME " . But if you desire and require of the Lord to change you and you have given up those faults and have repented and have asked the Lord to show you how to be and what to do , then you are no longer governed by your faults, but I don't think we were ever governed by our faults being in Christ Jesus . Most times we condemn ourselves so much and look at ourselves through the eyes of people , so we actually start believing what they say about us . But if we are constantly  having to die to self and  having to renew our mind and our spirit then we are not what they say we are because we all fall short and we are not govern by our mistakes or our pasts we are govern by the Holy Spirit , So it comes down to 'WHOSE REPORT WE WILL BELIEVE MAN OR THE LORDS". Lord i will believe your report help me to stand strong on your word . Amen